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A rough guide to being a football journo

A rough guide to being a football journo

Duncan Jenkins on 6 February 2012

The most exciting new football writer to emerge onto the scene in many years, Duncan Jenkins has written a guest blog on how to become a top football journalist, just like him.

after at least a few months of blood sweat tears and dissappointment as a perspiring football journalist i think it is fair to say in at least one sense i have now made it. i am not rolling in five pound notes, not yet anyway mates, but i have more followers on twitter than damian johnson of the B.B.C, and also joe lovejoys, who is tim lovejoys dad and according to his twitter bio is “a former football writer of the year, has reported on the game for 40 years, 25 of them in a senior capacity for major national newspapers”.

i had never heard of him until recently but my point still stands mates.

stand out

its a very competative market out there with literally hundreds of millions of football bloggers and perspiring journo’s. the key to making it big time like me is making yourself stand out from the crowds. i have many strings to my bone and i feel it is that which has helped me stand out from the other bloggers. so how do you stand out.

keep it real

can you imagine henry winter standing behind the goal with all the big lads and nutters singing “lets all have a disco” or “lets go fuckin mental” when your team wins a corner. i think not.

can you imagine paul haywards singing “wheres your caravan” to the gypo centre half with long hair. no way mates.
can you imagine tony evans shouting “COME ON THEN” and scrapping toe to toe with nutters like the B.B.C crew (blades business crew). actually yes you can forget that bit L.O.L.

the point i am trying to make is thus. imho onion if a footy journo wants to be respected he needs to have put in the hard hard yards on the terraces. i’ve had my head kicked in countless times at football matches (as can be seen on my blog HERE) and as such people can see i am the real deal. you sense that many journo’s can not say the same thing.

stanloy victor collymore has recently opened up a mass debate on twitter about posh football journo’s and “class” in football and he is right mates. the likes of henry and paul are lovely men and good at writing, but they have definately never shouted “oooohhhh your shit aaagghhh” at a goalkeeper and i feel this sort of thing is key to your integraty as a journo. therefore despite there massive success they have very little. integraty i mean.

friends in high places

the old phrase is “its not how many people you know its who you know” and it is true. go out of your way to make friends with big names. this is possible with twitter and i am now lucky enough to count the likes of wazza (i call him chunk now i’ve got to know him), fizzer (phil neville) and tea bag (gary neville) among my pals. they are down to earth lads and i’ve enjoyed some great banter with them. one day if they ever reply to me i may well get a scoop out of them and then i’ll really be cooking with gas.

phil browns the ex hull and preston manager is another pal of mine. i met him in 2010 in the changing rooms at h&m in hull, so i said “alright phil hows it going mates” but he could not hear me as he was listening to his ipod. so i tapped him on the shoulder and he said “hey mates stay cool” and he clicked his fingers and walked off. i could hear him in his booth singing “groove is in the heart” by the pop group delight. BTW way he has a great voice he sounds like jimmy summerville. a man of many talents.

tatical awareness

we all need to be tatical experts if you want to be taken serious and luckily i am one (a tatical expert). the likes of jonathon wilson, sid low and my firm friend micky cox from ‘zonal marking’ have raised the bar when it comes to tatical analysis – if in doubt simply search google for there opinions and copy them. thats exactly what gary neville does for M.N.F. i love gary but like it or not thats exactly what he does.


on top of tatical awareness it helps if you have a source to help you get the big scoops which the industry calls “the big scoops” or “the back page scoops”.

i manage to blend my renowned tatical mouse with being I.T.K as i have a very good source based in the north west who is very close to liverpool F.C and a few other clubs.

but beware mates. things can change very quickly in football and you can easily get stuff wrong and the reaper cushions can be unpleasant. if you do get stuff wrong people on twitter will treat you like a leopard - ask ian mcgarry or tony evans - and if you are a repeat offender you can quickly loose all credibility and more importantly followers (on twitter). again ask ian mcgarry.


that concludes my guide to being a credible football journo.

Duncan Jenkins is a perspiring football journalist and part of the football blogging paternity. He is a fan of false nines and has unlimited text messages every month. You can follow him on twitter here.


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This is genius. Amazing stuff. Loved the conclusion.
by Shivam on 06 February 2012 at 03:09 PM

Keep perspiring, you too can drip like the prince
by Ballsack on 06 February 2012 at 03:27 PM

Great blog mates.
by Alex on 06 February 2012 at 03:41 PM

roflmao - legend!!
by Mikeb on 06 February 2012 at 03:51 PM

Groove is in the heeeaaartt
by Philip Brown on 06 February 2012 at 03:55 PM

This is astonishing stuff, where has Duncan been hiding until now? The piece literally brought tears to my eyes.
by Pete on 06 February 2012 at 04:13 PM

Absolutely excellent stuff mates
by wiw on 06 February 2012 at 04:16 PM

Quality advice there mates! Keep up the good work Dunk!
by Jamie Cotton on 06 February 2012 at 04:21 PM

I'd certainly advise spellcheck if you are looking to have a career in the business.
by Colin on 06 February 2012 at 04:28 PM

Or Colin, he could just ask Speller to help him
by gavin on 06 February 2012 at 04:34 PM

The standard of journalism is shocking these days.

Thank God for Duncan, and this New Dawn.
by John on 06 February 2012 at 04:34 PM

"the reaper cushions can be unpleasant"

by aws_young on 06 February 2012 at 04:43 PM

Yo, know a fence but your wordplay is poor, men.
by Jezzy Candleberry on 06 February 2012 at 04:47 PM

proud day for me, beaming like a piece of woods, you have arrived duncan
by brian on 06 February 2012 at 04:50 PM

think you'll find you "spell check" is two words Colin so the yoke is on you mates (I'm saying you've got egg on your face mates do you get it) great work duncan mates, your career is really growing places now well done

by Narrow The Angle on 06 February 2012 at 04:56 PM

Funny when some people try to be smart, yet don't realise the jokes on them. Kwality stuff! keep it up!
by jt on 06 February 2012 at 05:00 PM

Reaper Cushions...if this were a chocolate it would be Quality Street.
by Evan on 06 February 2012 at 05:02 PM

Phil Brown as The Fonz.

by Kennth on 06 February 2012 at 05:03 PM

Ignore the critics Duncan. You're a new, sexy breed of journalist. Haterz like Colin are clearly just envious of your magnificent prose, your tactical genius and your undoubted ITKness.

Keep on keeping on mate.
by Dirty Bristow on 06 February 2012 at 05:08 PM

Are capital letters no longer a requirement for professional journalism?
by StMirrenBarca on 06 February 2012 at 05:09 PM

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