The Football Ramble
Est 2007 - the most entertaining voice in football
Barry Davies

Barry Davies

Ooohhhhhh, Pat Bonner…


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What a choice twat this man was - the archetype of the useless, no nothing, talk-a-lot, tosser “commentator” inflicted on us nowadays.

Fuck knows what hi remit was, perhaps it was to suck all the joy out of any spectacle he happened to be thrown in front of, FA Cup finals, World Cup finals, Wimbledon finals… no knowledge of the games, a grating delivery, and an absolute belief in his opinion as fact but no balls to actually go against the grain and make an actual statement - just petty asides and perfunctory jeers at usually foreign players of whichever sport he happened to be defiling at the time - and… breath.

I even remember him “commentating” on an Olympic opening ceremony once - a bullshit assignment but like shooting fish in a barrel to anyone with even an introductory knowledge of speech broadcasting. This noted chief even managed to make himself the choice point of ridicule on this occasion through his pathetic, deeply mined and wholly pony attempts to look for irony - a concept lost on this tool in its most elemental stages. Seriously, how easy is it to get one decent, non cringe worthy gag out of an Olympic ceremony?

I despise this man. He was shit.


by Harry Fonseca on 22 December 2010 at 12:58 AM

Silly, silly boy.  This is like walking in to a church and saying God is shit.

by chris waddles wild pelanty on 22 December 2010 at 02:09 PM

Dear Harry,

You are a moron.

Love and kisses,



by Sir Mark Wallace Esq on 22 December 2010 at 02:11 PM


Are you John Motson in disguise? How you could write so much nonsense is beyond me.

I suggest you take your fur/mink coat and fuck off!

by James Heath on 22 December 2010 at 02:12 PM

I agree with Harry, he’s no Clive Tyldesley….....

by themanfromdelmonte on 22 December 2010 at 02:13 PM

“just petty asides and perfunctory jeers at usually foreign players of whichever sport he happened to be defiling at the time”

Probably not the best description of a man who commentated on Maradona’s 2nd goal against England by simply saying, “oh you have to say that’s magnificent”.  Good luck getting anything as succinct and complimentary from any commentator today after they previously watched the same man score with a handball.

by Greavsie's Gaff on 22 December 2010 at 02:15 PM

Commentators need to have character, spirit and originality. Stuart Hall has all these. Barry Davies has them underlined and in a fancy Swedish-designed sans-serif font.

Not just “legend”, but “benchmark”.

by Doktorb on 22 December 2010 at 02:15 PM

Barry Davies’ finest hour was commentating on the 43rd World Stare Out Championships final.

by Here lies JonnyGabriel, 14/9/2010 - 16/12/2013 on 22 December 2010 at 02:17 PM

Living abroad i rarely get to hear Barry these days but recently he did Fighting Talk and he was a revelation. Everyone clearly loved having him be the guest host too.  Eloquent and enthusiastic. 

by Simon Burke on 22 December 2010 at 02:20 PM

Motson? Is that you?

by Lynk on 22 December 2010 at 02:20 PM

LULZ @ JOnny…

This is why Barry Davies will always have a place in our hearts…

“And Leeds will go mad. And they have every right to go mad” (After a refereeing decision effectively cost Leeds United the League Championship) in 1971.

“Lee…Interesting…Very Interesting…Look at his face…Just look at his face” (After Francis Lee scored for Derby County against his former club Manchester City)

“The crowd think that Todd handled the ball…. they must have seen something that nobody else did.”

“If it had gone in, it would have been a goal”

” ....Neal against Knuyp.. (Neal scores penalty).. and with such simplicity surely now the European Cup is won..” Liverpool’s 1st European Cup win against Borussia Monchengladbach 1977

“A peep, peep, peep, another peep, and that’s it.” (Greeting a final whistle)

“And Watford acknowledge the support of the crowd, indeed of the crowd that supported them.”

“While the debate raged on as to who should join him, he just kept scoing goal.”(On Christian Vieri in a documentary of France 98, Stars of the 98 World Cup.)

“You have to say that’s magnificent.” (Davies on Diego Maradona’s second goal for Argentina against England in the 1986 World Cup, minutes after his controversial handballed goal.

“Where were the Germans? [pause] And quite frankly, who cares?” (After Great Britain’s third goal in the 1988 Olympic Hockey final against Germany.)

“Poland nil, England nil, though England are now looking the better value for their nil.”

“What an unbelievable day this is. This is the stuff of schoolboy comics.” (On the absorbing 3-3 draw between Oldham Athletic and Manchester United in the 1990 FA Cup semi-finals, just hours after Crystal Palace had beaten Liverpool 4-3 in the same competition).

” Is Gascoigne going to have a crack?.... he is you know, Oh I say, BRILLIANT!” (On Paul Gascoigne before scoring a free-kick for Tottenham Hotspur against Arsenal in the 1991 FA Cup semi-final at Wembley)

“...that is Schoolboy’s Own stuff!” (On Paul Gascoigne scoring a free-kick for Tottenham Hotspur against Arsenal in the 1991 FA Cup semi-final at Wembley).

“Brilliant, Brilliant!” (Davies recognises the quality of Tomas Brolin’s winner for Sweden against England in Euro 92 rather than dwelling on England’s shortcomings).

“BRUUUUUUUCE! UNBELIEVABLE!” (When Steve Bruce won the league for Manchester United against Sheffield Wednesday in 1993)

“The Dutch fans look like a huge jar of marmalade.” (They wear orange team shirts.)

“Ohhhhhh, Pat Bonner.” (When Pat Bonner weakly parried a shot from Wim Jonk, which then dribbled into the net, in the Ireland v. Holland game in the second round of the 1994 World Cup.)

“Oooohhh no! You can have nothing but sympathy for the man who doesn’t score.” (After Gareth Southgate’s penalty kick miss against Germany at Euro ‘96)

“It’s Brazil 2 Scotland 1, so Scotland are back where they were at the start of the match.” (from opening match of World Cup 98)

“Beautifully brought down by BergKAMP… OH WHAT A GOAL!! (Commentary on Dennis Bergkamp’s amazing last-minute goal against Argentina, leading the Netherlands into the semi-finals of the 1998 World Cup.)

“Oh, that’s fairytale, that’s Boy’s Own stuff. But it’s been that sort of night, and it’s been wonderful to see” (After Robbie Fowler came off the bench to put Liverpool 4-3 ahead in the 2001 UEFA Cup Final against Alaves)

“Kanuuuuuuu! That is amazing! (After Nwankwo Kanu completed his hat-trick as Arsenal beat Chelsea 3-2)

“Italy lost because they WILL NOT LEARN!!” (After Italy bow out of World Cup 2002 to the South Koreans after trying to defend a one goal lead and having it backfire on them)

“Phillips - good try…. Brilliant! Brilliant!” (Kevin Phillips scoring Sunderland’s 4th v’s Chelsea at the Stadium of Light 2000/2001 )

“That sort of tackle belongs in the Super Bowl!” (One of his famous lines from Actua Soccer 2 and Premier Manager 97)

“And suddenly….the future is bright, AND THE FUTURE IS ORANGE!” (Commentating over a shot of jubilant Dutch fans celebrating their team’s second goal (very much against the run of play) v Switzerland in Euro 96 in the days when mobile phones were only just taking off and the slogan was at the heart of the mobile phone company’s current advertising campaign).

“Neat little short pass” (One of his lines from Actua Soccer Club Edition, which humorously sounds like ‘Knickers and a short pass’ due to the poor sound definition.

“Giggs starts to go, Unsworth goes with him….......Ooooooohhhh dear oh dear and I’m afraid that’s the end of Unsworth”. Man Utd vs Everton at the start of the 1995/96 Premiership season.

“Pat Jennings clapped his hands around that ball as if he was banging a piece of toast!”

by Sir Mark Wallace Esq on 22 December 2010 at 02:22 PM

Hey Harry your taxi’s here. It’s the one with the fanny on it

by Phifer on 22 December 2010 at 02:23 PM

Ooooooooooh, Harry!

by nickwst on 22 December 2010 at 02:24 PM

Such a treasure. They didn’t bury him, they just polished him up and stuck in a the Tower of London in a big glass case. Legend.

by Jimmy Gravies on 22 December 2010 at 02:30 PM

I suspect trolling but…


by Simon J. James on 22 December 2010 at 02:33 PM

lets get the facts wright here

Redknapp : Evil

Davis : Good

these will be the yard sticks from now on

by James Cox on 22 December 2010 at 03:09 PM

Barry Davies is part of my holy commentary triumvirate, which also includes Peter & Ron Jones.

Knocks Tyldesley into a cocked hat…

by Nick Davidson on 22 December 2010 at 05:46 PM

Wow, strong stuff Harry. I didn’t think your view would go down very well on here but you’ve actually done ok thus far.

by I put the Rad in Bradford on 22 December 2010 at 06:18 PM

I preferred Brian Moore.  Nobody could roar like him.

by Pinkeye on 22 December 2010 at 07:20 PM

Davies is a legend. hes in the premier league of commentators and uniquely he use to commentate on a wide number of sports and appeared knowledgable in them all

by dazzammm on 22 December 2010 at 10:56 PM

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