The Football Ramble
Est 2007. The most entertaining voice in football

The Dean Windass
Hall of Fame

Malcolm Allison

It takes a real man to wear a fedora.

FC Start

Hitler defying super-bakers.

Jurgen Klinsmann

Scored goals. Imagined fouls.

Denis Law

The Stretford King.

Henrik Larsson

Got better as he got older. Like a fine wine that’s amazing at football.


Even as a paper boy he’d score on every round.


Eat. Score. Eat. Score. Eat. Score…

Teddy Sheringham

Evergreen striker. Now Director of Skirt at Faces nightclub.

David Ginola

Because he’s worth it.

Dixie Dean

A prolific scorer and that’s a fact! Bully!

Nacional v Penarol

As heated as Satan’s hot water bottle.

Ali Daei

Iranian frequent flyer.

Franz Beckenbauer

Known as the Kaiser despite never having ruled The German Empire or The Kingdom of Prussia.

Franco Baresi

Like a general, but a general who was an imperious defender.

Frank Rijkaard

Hadjuk spit.

Fernando Peyroteo

Portuguese goal-hanger.

Matthias Sindelar

The Mozart of football.

Peter Shilton

He’s been Peter Shilton for…a very long time.

Herbert Chapman

Made sense of it all.

Francesco Totti

Roman god.