Got the number of a friend of a friend on a night out last night. What is the appropriate amount of time to wait, to text her?

Sir Jack Lester - 19 February 2012 02:55 AM

Got the number of a friend of a friend on a night out last night. What is the appropriate amount of time to wait, to text her?

If you’re me, about 2 years.

Seeing as you’re not, the whole ‘keep ‘em waiting’ thing is nonsense. A standard “Good morning, enjoy the night out?” the next day has never done bad for me. If it’s something you think might actually lead somewhere, don’t leave it for ages. On the other hand, if you’re just looking for a shag, don’t take my advise.

I don’t get what the deal is with apparently waiting ages, just a simple “Good night out? Get home okay?” thing seems fine to me.

A couple of days max. I wouldn’t leave it too long, but at the same time obviously try your best not to come across as in any way desperate or needy. (@SJL)

I went out on Friday night and pulled a Romanian girl. She wasn’t anything special but had a nice body and a cute smile. Unfortunately I had a pretty heavy pub session beforehand and was absolutely twatted. We got back to hers, started going at it and all was well, but as soon as the condom went on I flopped, it was a bit like popping a balloon. Very embarassing, and showed no signs of changing despite some pretty close attention from her. I was deeply ashamed but we had a nice chat in the morning, I think I impressed her with my knowledge of Gigi Becali

After getting horribly lost in her village I made it home to find that she had added me on facebook, and actually sent me a message last night so it seems that I haven’t harmed my chances too much. I’m not really after a relationship but I wouldn’t be adverse to seeing her again in some capacity.

Joshua - 19 February 2012 12:42 PM

I think I impressed her with my knowledge of Gigi Becali

Thats just class!

Jonny Gabriel Ngo Baheng - 19 February 2012 12:38 PM

I don’t get what the deal is with apparently waiting ages, just a simple “Good night out? Get home okay?” thing seems fine to me.

Correct. If anything it’s the perfect ice breaker. Why wait a few days when you might have literally nothing to talk about?!

Mokeejoe5 - 18 February 2012 09:28 PM

Quick question. Being in secondary school all the girls my age love a good six pack. I’ve had requests from girls to show them but have always had to say no for fear of being considered a ‘manwhore’ etc. I’m looking for a way to show it off without coming across as cocky or vain. Do you think its a good idea or should I avoid doing it?

“I dont like to flash in public”

Gives them an in, is playful while also dismissive. Done.

You guys ever feel like you may have let the person you’re meant to spend your life with go? Just broke up after over three years. Could be a hard one

I think this may call for a week of beer, mates and old football dvd’s…

Laurent Robert’s Left Foot - 19 February 2012 04:23 PM

You guys ever feel like you may have let the person you’re meant to spend your life with go? Just broke up after over three years. Could be a hard one

I think this may call for a week of beer, mates and old football dvd’s…

Sorry to hear that, mates are the people you need the most at a time like this. Just try to take your mind off things.

Laurent Robert’s Left Foot - 19 February 2012 04:23 PM

You guys ever feel like you may have let the person you’re meant to spend your life with go? Just broke up after over three years. Could be a hard one

I think this may call for a week of beer, mates and old football dvd’s…

All depends on what happened. Did you call it off or did she?

I broke up with someone last week. Weren’t together as long as you were but still pretty serious. I the one that called it off and don’t regret it at all. I could have had the grown up life, house, kids, dog etc etc with her but its not what i want and rather be single again than get into a position I don’t want to be in.

On other hand tho I have also been on receiving end where person I could see myself having all the above with sacked me off. Was hard and honest truth is its taken me best part of 2yrs to get over it fully. Only in past few months did I manage to move on from it. I did discover that no amount of alcohol, sex, gambling and football solves the heart ache. It does make the period much more fun and interesting tho so enjoy it as best you can

Difficult to explain really. She gave me a way out, I kind of took it. Finding it hard to balance a very dependent girlfriend and the final year of my maths degree.

But it’s still difficult to quell the worry that it was a huge mistake.

If took the way out then must have been something you thought about for a while. Not kind of thing you would just do on spur of moment. Same for her if she gave you the option. Wouldn’t do that if she 100% happy. Despite what some people seem to believe there are sometimes more important things in the world than relationships. I rather be single and happy with work, mates, family, lifestyle than unhappy just because I feel I need a missus

Maybe this be a wake up call for you tho and will suddenly realise in a few days that you were wrong and you do want to keep it going. If so then can’t see there being much harm done and can probably get it back on track with the air cleared between you. Either way it can only be a good thing in long run. Cliched I know but it is true

Step 1: Spend a whole day in bed.  Check
Step 2: Get drunk.
Step 3: Stay drunk?

Laurent Robert’s Left Foot - 19 February 2012 04:23 PM

You guys ever feel like you may have let the person you’re meant to spend your life with go? Just broke up after over three years. Could be a hard one

I think this may call for a week of beer, mates and old football dvd’s…

Only time will tell. If you still feel the same in three years’ time, you’ll know you made a mistake.

I’ve been through this and I still feel heartbroken after six years. She definitely was the one…

last week I spent over 4 hours chatting to a girl in a smokers area at a brisbane nightclub. while at first she had her guard up, she seemed to have warmed to me as we kept talking. after 3-4 hours, she had to leave to take her drunk friend home, so she gave me her number (something she said she doesn’t normally do) so i thought… all good we’ll catch up at some other point. later that night i txt her asking if her mate got home ok and she said all was good…

so then why wont she reply to any other messages?

last week I spent over 4 hours chatting to a girl in a smokers area at a brisbane nightclub. while at first she had her guard up, she seemed to have warmed to me as we kept talking. after 3-4 hours, she had to leave to take her drunk friend home, so she gave me her number (something she said she doesn’t normally do) so i thought… all good we’ll catch up at some other point. later that night i txt her asking if her mate got home ok and she said all was good…
so then why wont she reply to any other messages?

1. She was slightly drunk and now has no interest
2. She just gave it to you out of politeness
3. She’s genuinely unable to reply for a potentially infinite amount of reasons

Lesson to be learned here is not to hold out to much hope, move on. If she texts back it’s a bonus. Do not under any circumstances bombard her with messages as this will only prolong hope for you and put her off.

Mokeejoe5 - 18 February 2012 09:28 PM

Quick question. Being in secondary school all the girls my age love a good six pack. I’ve had requests from girls to show them but have always had to say no for fear of being considered a ‘manwhore’ etc. I’m looking for a way to show it off without coming across as cocky or vain. Do you think its a good idea or should I avoid doing it?

Just squat down and have a shit in the schoolyard instead.

Joshua - 19 February 2012 12:42 PM

A couple of days max. I wouldn’t leave it too long, but at the same time obviously try your best not to come across as in any way desperate or needy. (@SJL)

I went out on Friday night and pulled a Romanian girl. She wasn’t anything special but had a nice body and a cute smile. Unfortunately I had a pretty heavy pub session beforehand and was absolutely twatted. We got back to hers, started going at it and all was well, but as soon as the condom went on I flopped, it was a bit like popping a balloon. Very embarassing, and showed no signs of changing despite some pretty close attention from her. I was deeply ashamed but we had a nice chat in the morning, I think I impressed her with my knowledge of Gigi Becali

After getting horribly lost in her village I made it home to find that she had added me on facebook, and actually sent me a message last night so it seems that I haven’t harmed my chances too much. I’m not really after a relationship but I wouldn’t be adverse to seeing her again in some capacity.

Good lad. I wouldn’t worry too much about the non-performance, the first night I met my current girlfriend I threw up on my bed. She’s still around, so it’s all good! She must think you are worth it, so good luck.

Been messaging back and forth for a day or so and it seems that I got with her before a couple of years ago. Even the fact that I had no recollection of it doesn’t seem to have bothered her and she is already talking about ‘next time’. Good stuff.

Joshua - 20 February 2012 02:36 PM

Been messaging back and forth for a day or so and it seems that I got with her before a couple of years ago. Even the fact that I had no recollection of it doesn’t seem to have bothered her and she is already talking about ‘next time’. Good stuff.

Good times. Eastern European belters, love it.

Being a bit older than the majority of Ramblers, I thought it my duty to share this subtle but important piece of advice. It’s easy to overlook the minor details but i find that girls don’t, so permit me to tell my tale for the benefit of you younger ones out there

We were heading for a disco at about 14 years of age and, being both northern and naive enough to think i was a man if I out-drank my mates I sank some. (gold label, special brew, concorde???? and merrydown…ffs what’s that about eh? exact quantaties unknown but matters not) As I attended a Catholic school the disco was in the church hall and the ‘security’ were 6th formers and a priest.

Once in the disco, or so i’m told as I have no recollection whatsoever, I was approached by Kath P who was an absolute fitty (massive jugs, at that age, kudos) and asked to dance. I accepted. NO ONE else was dancing. So, in front of everyone, I vomited all over her.

Do not do this…it’s not big and it’s not clever and it definitely doesn’t get you the girl

....spending the rest of the disco lying down on a bench with a girl who’d had her eyes on me sucking my face off whist the priest was trying to pull her off me by the hair was all wasted on me. I remember none of it. I ended up dating her for 4 months but she didn’t have the big jugs of Kathy P so there’s a lesson there guys

Joshua - 20 February 2012 02:36 PM

Been messaging back and forth for a day or so and it seems that I got with her before a couple of years ago. Even the fact that I had no recollection of it doesn’t seem to have bothered her and she is already talking about ‘next time’. Good stuff.

What on Earth is a rambler doing picking up chicks in a Romanian village?

Much as I wish that I had spent Saturday morning wandering around the Romanian countryside, the girl in question is a student at my University and lives in a quaint little Essex village called Wivenhoe (which I actually lived in too, for a time).

EDIT: Now that I think of it, Wivenhoe is technically a town. Apologies for any confusion.

Ah I totally misread you then.

Dunno why I feel like sharing this, but I just broke up with my girlfriend of 2 years. One of the hardest things I’ve had to do, but I just didn’t feel the same anymore. It was just a hard thing to do. it feels like a huge decision, and completely heart breaking to hear her crying, but it’s supposed to be for the best and I ultimately want her to be happy because of it, instead of me continuing to put far less in to the relationship than she did.

I don’t want her to hate me for this. I want her to see that this is for the best. I haven’t had to do this for such a long time, and she was the most ‘serious’ girlfriend I’ve ever had.

Anyone got any advice in this department?

Maxim - 21 February 2012 10:51 PM

Dunno why I feel like sharing this, but I just broke up with my girlfriend of 2 years. One of the hardest things I’ve had to do, but I just didn’t feel the same anymore. It was just a hard thing to do. it feels like a huge decision, and completely heart breaking to hear her crying, but it’s supposed to be for the best and I ultimately want her to be happy because of it, instead of me continuing to put far less in to the relationship than she did.

I don’t want her to hate me for this. I want her to see that this is for the best. I haven’t had to do this for such a long time, and she was the most ‘serious’ girlfriend I’ve ever had.

Anyone got any advice in this department?

See my post at the top of the page - snap. Your line about putting far less in than her sums mine up perfectly. The other day my Mum told me that ever since she first met my Dad, she honestly has not had a single doubt that he’s the person she wants to spend her life with. I think the fact that I was having doubts says it all really.

I decided that at the end of the day, the only way to find out was to do the brave thing and see how it goes. Sounds dumb, but the safe option is always to carry on in a relationship you’re not completely sure about. It’s not easy to explain that without sounding like a jackass though - I’m not great at words.

Joshua - 20 February 2012 10:09 PM

Much as I wish that I had spent Saturday morning wandering around the Romanian countryside, the girl in question is a student at my University and lives in a quaint little Essex village called Wivenhoe (which I actually lived in too, for a time).

EDIT: Now that I think of it, Wivenhoe is technically a town. Apologies for any confusion.

Wivenhoe’s a town? Shit me, smallest town I’ve ever seen. Walked round the whole place pretty damn quick.

The Carragher Aimless Hoof ® - 21 February 2012 11:45 PM

Joshua - 20 February 2012 10:09 PM

Much as I wish that I had spent Saturday morning wandering around the Romanian countryside, the girl in question is a student at my University and lives in a quaint little Essex village called Wivenhoe (which I actually lived in too, for a time).

EDIT: Now that I think of it, Wivenhoe is technically a town. Apologies for any confusion.

Wivenhoe’s a town? Shit me, smallest town I’ve ever seen. Walked round the whole place pretty damn quick.

I always think of it as a village, but the football team is called Wivenhoe Town F.C.

Laurent Robert’s Left Foot - 21 February 2012 10:58 PM

Maxim - 21 February 2012 10:51 PM

Dunno why I feel like sharing this, but I just broke up with my girlfriend of 2 years. One of the hardest things I’ve had to do, but I just didn’t feel the same anymore. It was just a hard thing to do. it feels like a huge decision, and completely heart breaking to hear her crying, but it’s supposed to be for the best and I ultimately want her to be happy because of it, instead of me continuing to put far less in to the relationship than she did.

I don’t want her to hate me for this. I want her to see that this is for the best. I haven’t had to do this for such a long time, and she was the most ‘serious’ girlfriend I’ve ever had.

Anyone got any advice in this department?

See my post at the top of the page - snap. Your line about putting far less in than her sums mine up perfectly. The other day my Mum told me that ever since she first met my Dad, she honestly has not had a single doubt that he’s the person she wants to spend her life with. I think the fact that I was having doubts says it all really.

I decided that at the end of the day, the only way to find out was to do the brave thing and see how it goes. Sounds dumb, but the safe option is always to carry on in a relationship you’re not completely sure about. It’s not easy to explain that without sounding like a jackass though - I’m not great at words.

hmmm well first, sorry to hear about your situation.

secondly. I really hope I’m not making a mistake, and acting on an impulse, but I have been feeling like this for sometime. I guess time will tell, and hopefully I can see that my decision was the right one.

It’s really rough now though, even though it’s my doing really. Feel awful.

What’s a good way to approach a girl at a concert? I was at a show in Brooklyn tonight, and there were a few girls I had my eye on, who, if I’m not mistaken were also reciprocating some of my glances. I didn’t make a move or anything, I just enjoyed the concert with a bunch of my mates, but for the future, how should I go about this without making a dick of myself?

I saw a beautiful girl on my train on Monday. She hasn’t been on my train since.

Jonny Gabriel Ngo Baheng - 22 February 2012 10:02 AM

I saw a beautiful girl on my train on Monday. She hasn’t been on my train since.

I hate that.

There’s a lovely Indian/Pakistani type girl (forgive my ignorance in not being able to know for sure) that gets on my (normal) bus every morning. The other day I caught here THREE TIMES checking me out so I figured I have to get talking to her somehow over the next few days.

Haven’t seen her since as I’ve been working earlier and earlier since then.

Dance Magic Dance - 22 February 2012 10:09 AM

Jonny Gabriel Ngo Baheng - 22 February 2012 10:02 AM

I saw a beautiful girl on my train on Monday. She hasn’t been on my train since.

I hate that.

There’s a lovely Indian/Pakistani type girl (forgive my ignorance in not being able to know for sure) that gets on my (normal) bus every morning. The other day I caught here THREE TIMES checking me out so I figured I have to get talking to her somehow over the next few days.

Haven’t seen her since as I’ve been working earlier and earlier since then.

Do you have a ‘special’ bus?

Dance Magic Dance - 22 February 2012 10:09 AM

Jonny Gabriel Ngo Baheng - 22 February 2012 10:02 AM

I saw a beautiful girl on my train on Monday. She hasn’t been on my train since.

I hate that.

There’s a lovely Indian/Pakistani type girl (forgive my ignorance in not being able to know for sure) that gets on my (normal) bus every morning. The other day I caught here THREE TIMES checking me out so I figured I have to get talking to her somehow over the next few days.

Haven’t seen her since as I’ve been working earlier and earlier since then.

Out of curiosity, how would you get talking to someone on your bus/at your train station?

I’ve wanted to do it many times but can’t bring myself to do it for the fear or getting rejected or looking mental.

Vote Eboue - 22 February 2012 10:38 AM

Dance Magic Dance - 22 February 2012 10:09 AM

Jonny Gabriel Ngo Baheng - 22 February 2012 10:02 AM

I saw a beautiful girl on my train on Monday. She hasn’t been on my train since.

I hate that.

There’s a lovely Indian/Pakistani type girl (forgive my ignorance in not being able to know for sure) that gets on my (normal) bus every morning. The other day I caught here THREE TIMES checking me out so I figured I have to get talking to her somehow over the next few days.

Haven’t seen her since as I’ve been working earlier and earlier since then.

Out of curiosity, how would you get talking to someone on your bus/at your train station?

I’ve wanted to do it many times but can’t bring myself to do it for the fear or getting rejected or looking mental.

Not sure man, never had the bottle myself - I’d have to completely wing it.

Just got to put yourself out there man! Just sit near here and strike up a conversation about anything if she is interested at all you will know soon enough!

Goodluck!

Vote Eboue - 22 February 2012 10:38 AM

Dance Magic Dance - 22 February 2012 10:09 AM

Jonny Gabriel Ngo Baheng - 22 February 2012 10:02 AM

I saw a beautiful girl on my train on Monday. She hasn’t been on my train since.

I hate that.

There’s a lovely Indian/Pakistani type girl (forgive my ignorance in not being able to know for sure) that gets on my (normal) bus every morning. The other day I caught here THREE TIMES checking me out so I figured I have to get talking to her somehow over the next few days.

Haven’t seen her since as I’ve been working earlier and earlier since then.

Out of curiosity, how would you get talking to someone on your bus/at your train station?

I’ve wanted to do it many times but can’t bring myself to do it for the fear or getting rejected or looking mental.

If you are nervous or unsure, just say ‘hi’ when you are both walking in opposite directions. That way you are safe to walk off if she doesn’t say anything back, and also if she just reciprocates. However, it makes it her prerogative to start a conversation. Also it means that if she does say hi back, you can always say it again and again, whenever you see her. This is tried and tested.

Dance Magic Dance - 22 February 2012 10:58 AM

Vote Eboue - 22 February 2012 10:38 AM

Dance Magic Dance - 22 February 2012 10:09 AM

Jonny Gabriel Ngo Baheng - 22 February 2012 10:02 AM

I saw a beautiful girl on my train on Monday. She hasn’t been on my train since.

I hate that.

There’s a lovely Indian/Pakistani type girl (forgive my ignorance in not being able to know for sure) that gets on my (normal) bus every morning. The other day I caught here THREE TIMES checking me out so I figured I have to get talking to her somehow over the next few days.

Haven’t seen her since as I’ve been working earlier and earlier since then.

Out of curiosity, how would you get talking to someone on your bus/at your train station?

I’ve wanted to do it many times but can’t bring myself to do it for the fear or getting rejected or looking mental.

Not sure man, never had the bottle myself - I’d have to completely wing it.

 

Ha, interesting, the Paris Metro has just put of poster ads for a campaign based on this particular idea - “what if the woman of your dreams uses this line?” Lovely stuff. I can’t find any on Google or their website, it must be too new.

Laurent Robert’s Left Foot - 19 February 2012 04:23 PM

You guys ever feel like you may have let the person you’re meant to spend your life with go? Just broke up after over three years. Could be a hard one

I think this may call for a week of beer, mates and old football dvd’s…

I got over my break up by being riden like a fucking pony.

We’ve been together a year in March.

She’s the best thing that ever happened to me.

How time flies.

Friend of mine went out on a first date with a girl he met in a bar the other night, he got more than he bargained for at the end of the night…

An £85 fine & made to go to a Speed Awareness Course. He got caught speeding by a camera whilst he was driving them to the restaurant.

He hasn’t heard from her since.