Any funny stories to share that got you a bollocking as a child?

For no reason at all, I once decided to paint my next door neighbour’s drive. In white paint. He came back half way through the job and took me to my dad for a bollocking. A great injustice as my co workers got off Scott free.

I was about eleven at the time.

Any more?

i climbed a tree which must have been a good 10-15 feet in the air, and inspired by the wonderful macho man randy savage, dropped an elbow deep into the chest of my best pal. three broken ribs (him) and a broken arm (me) later, i was grounded for two months and never allowed to watch wrestling again. i wonder if that ban is still in place

this starts off gloomy but bear with me, after my mother died when i was 10 my dad eventually (after a couple of years) wanted some companionship again. I was obviously not ready to let him ‘forget my mother’ that easily. So every time she came round i used to let her tires down on her car with a small stone. After the third time of doing it i figured my dad was starting to clock on, so (ingeniously) i decided to let down ALL the cars tires on my road. Being 13, i didn’t realise how long this would take even though my road wasn’t particularly long. 4 hours later i gave up and got caught 3/4 of the way down.

i got ripped a new one

it was worth it…...the bitch (i’m now 27 lol)

I was quite well behaved but broke panes on 2 green houses in my time. Once with a mistimed lob and one with a golf ball.

When i was about 4 my parents never allowed me to have chewing gum. My dad had bought some “joke” gum that looks normal but dyes the inside of your mouth blue (see where this is going?). He was going to take it into work and had kept in his drawer to keep it away from me. I found it, chewed it and carried on my business. I denied any knowledge of the missing gum but there was no getting around it. I had a blue mouth and was aprehended shortly after.

When I was about 4 or 5 I used my grandad’s car as a trampoline. But apart from that nothing really springs to mind…must’ve been a good kid!

This is a friend’s story but it’s brilliant…

The father of a friend of mine is a very strict man, a very strict man indeed. Late one school night, the father got up out of bed to go to the toilet & saw the light of a TV monitor on in his son’s bedroom. He stormed into his son’s room, as he burst through the door, the son turned the monitor off on his computer (leaving the rest of the computer on) & scurried into bed.

“WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN WATCHING?!” cried the Dad
“Nothing dad, honest!” squirmed the son
“YOU BETTER NOT HAVE BEEN WATCHING WHAT I THINK YOU WERE WATCHING!”

The dad, fearing the worst, marched over to the computer monitor & pressed the On button. What was on the computer?

Championship Manager.

“You’re a very sad little boy son, a very sad little boy indeed…”

Another time, whilst on holiday with some family friends. Myself, my sister and their kids (the other family’s) went and sat on a rock on the beach. We also had a packet of Chedders with which we formed ‘The Chedders Gang’ (You were only allowed to join if you were ‘naughty at school’) We decided not to let my sister join.

After a few munites, the tide started to come in. Surrounding the rock in water. At which point we disembarked and headed for land. Naturally, we left my sister on the rock to fend for herself.

Cue my dad swimming out to save her and me getting the biggest bollocking of all time. My friends got ice cream on the way home. I got nothing.

At school, me and a friend were playing the classic boys game of Bangkok with one difference, the most inventive “bang” was the winner. At the end of Science, I had an idea which i felt was rather brilliant. I grabbed a Test Tube clamp and in one fluid motion, Bangkok’ed that motherfucker. The only problem was, my teacher saw me and told me to get out of the class and wait at her office. She then made me phone my own Mum and tell her what i did.

After school, i get home and go to say hello to my mum and expecting a MASSIVE bollocking.
She glares at me and shouts “SO YOU THINK ITS OK TO THROW ACID IN SOMEONES FACE?!?!”
“But mother” I said, “I didn’t”.
“Oh? What did you do then?”
I then explained the game and stuff, she laughed and said “well, I got that all wrong…”

Not the most trouble i got in, but definitely the funniest/weirdest reaction.

Remembered while reading the story above.

The classroom where we used to have chemistry had bottles of stuff all the way around the front of the class. One day whilst watching the teacher, I was lookin at the bottles and noticed one was ammonia. I surreptitiously eased it out of it’s place and tapped the boy in front of me (a mate), on the shoulder. As he turned around I lifted off the lid and blew/held it in his face. He collapsed off his stool falling forward and banging/cutting his head on teachers ‘experiment table’. Obviously everyone looked around and I was just sat there with the bottle in hand. Cane, 2 weeks detention and a month’s grounding ensued.

Mine seem really tame in comparison, I oncesaw a black crayon on the ground when I was in about Primary one or two and decided to just use my foot to swirl it around on the floor for about 10 mins, cue a big black circle in the floor right beside my chair.

I also didn’t like the sandwiches I got for lunch so I used to hide them in my granny’s disued fireplace at her house before I went home, this was only stopped when my sister and cousin saw me do it and found about 30 bags of sandwiches up there, in hindsight it was crafty but pretty disgusting by me…

went round to my cousins when i was about 10 to get him to come round the park for a game of footy. his dad said he couldn’t come as he had to wash the car(Mercedes with leather interior). My cousin had a tantrum but his dad stood firm, que him putting the hose through the sun roof and turning it on. after about 20 mins my uncle came out and saw what was happening, i have never seen a face turn so red and i ran away as fast as i could.
Didn’t see my cuz for about 6 months after that!!!!