I would create a poll, but as i’ve no idea how the fuck to do it, i’ll just ask the question and let you pubes give your thoughts in the thread

I didn’t really understand there was more than 1 option for this, but here we go

After shitting, do you stand and wipe, or sit and wipe?

As for me, i’ve always sat and wiped, and never even considered standing. Surely your arse cheeks will close and it won’t be a strong situation?

Not sure how you would even go about sitting and wiping.

Hahahaha. Thread of the year.

Stand.

When this was discussed on another board, I was shocked at my own ignorance.  I just figured if you used a regular toilet, people just sat, leaned a bit, and wiped.  I had NO IDEA people physically stood up.  It’s like Tomorrow’s World for me, I must try it.

But personally, sit.

Sit. Get that poll sorted, this is important stuff.

I stand.

I find it very difficult to imagine sitting and wiping.

I wipe my arse whilst seated, with paper carried in my left hand. After i am ‘completed’ i stand up, turn and face the bowl and salute as i flush. Sometimes i sing, sometimes i whistle, always a moving and heartfelt rendition of “The Last Post”. After sending forth my brown tribute to the Great Sea God Neptune I turn 90 degrees, ‘buckle up’ and exit the stall,  ready tomeet any challenges the day may bring.

Thanks for asking. Any further questions, don’t hesitate to ask.

I’ve recently transitioned from standing to sitting. There is certainly a leaning technique that needs to be mastered, but it has reduced the amount of toilet paper used.

on the thread idea.
Always sit whilst leaning forward.

Sit to begin with… and then stand to finish off. Double tapping.

Emmanuel Eboue’s Tiger Suit - 28 July 2012 12:47 AM

on the thread idea.
Always sit whilst leaning forward.

Def.  Also means I can keep (precariously) reading/playing a mobile game.  Makes me feel old but started to really cherish shit time.  It’s like time stands still in my little shitty oasis.

What the hell, standing is an option? I wasn’t even aware of this. Always sit for me.

Standing. Every. Single. Time.

Emmanuel Eboue’s Tiger Suit - 28 July 2012 12:47 AM

on the thread idea.
Always sit whilst leaning forward.

This…..

I genuinely never considered standing as an option. I’m going to try it after this burrito has the obligatory effect.

Standing? what are you, a pack of animals

I have recently adopted the habit of whipping out my phone and playing solitaire until I have finished pooping AND won a game. That way I know it’s all truly out and I can be cleansed.

After that, sometimes I sit, sometimes I stand. Just kinda depends on what kind of mood I’m in. I feel like standing affords me leverage that sitting just can’t provide.

What a thread!
Standing!

Standing. Gives you the perfect opportunity to inspect your creation which usually leads to a strong sense of pride for me.

Sit…...

I’ve always been a stander, but I’m beginning to think I should give sitting a go

I didn’t even realise there was another way, sitting all the way. I feel like my eyes are truly opened for the very first time.

Reminded of this on Curb Your Enthusiasm.. but that’s a whole different debate.

I’ve had a sleepless nigh thinking on this. Drinking coffee, pacing the floor, drawing diagrams, tearing them up, drawing more diagrams. And now i am certain that if you are standing then your cheeks are in closer proximinity to each other at the time of ‘the clean up mission’. If you prefer the seated and lean technique then your cheeks are at a wider angle, resulting in you having more room to manouver, thus a cleaner harris.

With that in mind any standers out there should be thouroughly ashamed of themselves. 

Who the hell stands? Is that even a thing?

BROKEN BRITAIN

People stand and wipe????????????

Cannot believe people stand and wipe!!
I do like going at work though which some people seem to not be able to. There is no better feeling than sitting and dumping and being paid for it!!

People actually stand?

My mind is blown.

Like many others have said, I didn’t even know standing while wiping was an option.

standing!?! what the fuck. mind melting, like when i found out some people put milk in before hot water when making tea.

Slumdog Mignolet - 28 July 2012 12:16 PM

standing!?! what the fuck. mind melting, like when i found out some people put milk in before hot water when making tea.

What?? Perverts.

Obviously stand.

I’m more interested in the real question of this topic: When it comes to toilet paper, are you a scruncher or a folder?

Triggs - 28 July 2012 12:28 PM

Obviously stand.

I’m more interested in the real question of this topic: When it comes to toilet paper, are you a scruncher or a folder?

Fold, of course. Right? We’re not cave men.

After a quick Google search, it would appear that the sitters:standers split is between 60:40 and 50:50, but the one common theme is that everyone is astonished that there is another way. Now my mind has been opened to the full range of arse-wiping possibilities, I will certainly be conducting my own investigation to ensure I use the optimum method in future.

Laurent Robert’s Left Foot - 28 July 2012 12:31 PM

Triggs - 28 July 2012 12:28 PM

Obviously stand.

I’m more interested in the real question of this topic: When it comes to toilet paper, are you a scruncher or a folder?

Fold, of course. Right? We’re not cave men.

That’s what I thought until recently when my cousin told me he was a scruncher. What a waste of paper I thought.

I bet that you look good on Zidane’s floor - 28 July 2012 12:35 PM

After a quick Google search, it would appear that the sitters:standers split is between 60:40 and 50:50, but the one common theme is that everyone is astonished that there is another way. Now my mind has been opened to the full range of arse-wiping possibilities, I will certainly be conducting my own investigation to ensure I use the optimum method in future.

There is also the slightly less popular ‘headstand in the shower’ method if you want your experiment to as thorough as possible.

Triggs - 28 July 2012 12:28 PM

Obviously stand.

I’m more interested in the real question of this topic: When it comes to toilet paper, are you a scruncher or a folder?

Don’t try and divert the conversation to paper to try to cover up the shame of being a stander.

But seeing as you mentioned it. Scrunch

Folding creates a flat surface leading to occasional smearing. The edges created by scrunching perform the take away action required. It’s the same principle that led to boffins creating the multi-blade razor. More edges, better finish.

I’ve always stood, never even considered standing. But now a lot of you recommend, I might have to try and convert!

Why the hell would anyone stand?  Doesn’t that complicate things?

I stand and have always felt rather ashamed and alone

This thread has helped me greatly

AViDGooner - 28 July 2012 01:28 PM

Triggs - 28 July 2012 12:28 PM

Obviously stand.

I’m more interested in the real question of this topic: When it comes to toilet paper, are you a scruncher or a folder?

Don’t try and divert the conversation to paper to try to cover up the shame of being a stander.

But seeing as you mentioned it. Scrunch

Folding creates a flat surface leading to occasional smearing. The edges created by scrunching perform the take away action required. It’s the same principle that led to boffins creating the multi-blade razor. More edges, better finish.

...mother of god….so simple…..so elegant….

THANK YOU

Why would you even stand? That’s unnatural

Rusty - 28 July 2012 05:51 PM

Why would you even stand? That’s unnatural

Using a toilet is unnatural