The Football Ramble
Est 2007. The most entertaining voice in football

Wilfried Zaha: In danger of overexposure

6 May 2014


Think this looks funny? Well stop your laughing right now, you medically under-educated fool.

This garment has been invented to prevent serious groin injuries occurring while sportsmen ply their trade. As the captions helpfully indicate, Gilmore’s Support Shorts offer protection from groin disruption, inguinal disruption and Athletic Pubalgia, all of which sound absolutely horrifying.

But that’s not all. Apparently, by exercising, all you chaps are running a risk of Pubic Symphysis blockage. We’re not going to go into the details, but it’s severe enough to prompt certain players to take serious, evasive action.

Allow Wilfried to demonstrate.


Good god, it’s like Paul Scholes’ ginger ninja, isn’t it? You can’t unsee it.


By Kelly Welles


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