The Football Ramble
Est 2007 - the most entertaining voice in football

Videos from The Football Ramble

Page 2 of 13 |  < 1 2 3 4 >  Last ›

Maciek Adamiak, the chap reponsible for this joyful bit of trickery, isn’t even a professional player. The game was a charity match between two Polish television channels a couple of months ago.

Our Poland office* has confirmed that Adamiak won a Polish talent show called ‘Supertalent’, a show in which contestants perform a series of challenges to win a contract with a TV station.

Which, if this clip is any evidence, was a contract to be a weatherman.

Nevermind, Maciek. If the meteorology gig doesn’t pan out, you can always have a crack at the footie.


By Kelly Welles


*When we say ‘our Poland office’ we mean Kelly, google translate and a fair bit of creative licence. If you don’t know that already, you’re not spending enough time on the site.

Maciek Adamiak, TVP Warsaw

I can think of someone who’d be much more suited to a shed based romcom starring Svennigans in uniform.

Can’t you?


By Kelly Welles

Sven Goran Eriksson

Our willingness to peer into the odour imbued, jock strap festooned places that professional sportsmen get changed took a knock this week when former England rugby international Matt Dawson shared an anecdote about being molested on the bottom in a locker room with a cactus.


Indeed, having watched the opening moments of this video, which features Standard Liege’s 2013/14 squad, we feared the chap in the cardboard box was about to meet a similar, indelicate end. Aimlessly wandering around the locker room, his vision impaired, to our addled imaginations he seemed destined for a vigorous thwacking with the nearest pot plant. It was a sight we weren’t sure our conscious minds could cope with.

Some of you may find what happens next even more offensive, but much, much smarter.

Our faith, has (at least temporarily) been restored.

Happy Friday, Ramblers!


By Kelly Welles

Matt Dawson, Standard Liege


Two days ago, we presented you with this.

It was our ‘Breaking the Internet’ moment and at the time we wondered whether we could ever top Marcus having his picture taken with Ramble Hall of Famer, Friend of the Ramble & ‘unofficial’ Fifth Rambler Craig “Nuthink Nuthink result” Brown.

Turns out we can. Brace yerselves, Ramblers. It’s only a ruddy video of the interview our man conducted with Brown and Terry ‘T-Ven’ Venables!

We’re so proud. And while it’s tested our bandwith capacity, we have enough left to remain comfortably online for the foreseeable future.

Unless, of course, he runs into Sven during his big shop. If a picture of that hits his Twitter we’ll be back in the Dark Ages before you can say ‘‘Wellllllllll”.


By Kelly Welles

Craig Brown, Marcus Speller, Terry Venables

Scotland 1-3 England

You can be sure that if England manage to cobble together a bright performance against competitive opposition, somebody, somewhere, will find a way to ensure no one is talking about it the following day.

So while we remain aware of Jack Wilshere’s visionary cross and The Ox’s tender steer, they’re mostly lost beneath the debris.

Wayne Rooney’s positioning for England’s second, his startling ability to shift the momentum of that not inconsiderable bulk from one direction to another to ensure contact with the ball, while mentioned in dispatches, are also buried.

Never mind that it’s precisely the testament to his quality the media were demanding before the Slovenia game. The reminder we needed that he has been special, if not the legend we wanted. That was last week’s agenda.


Nope. Everyone’s talking about England fans anti-IRA chanting to the occasional (inadvertent) accompaniment of the England Supporters Band. The fact that the FA were forced to ask them to stop playing during the first half. That Roy Hodgson felt obliged to apologise for the conduct of the singing fans after the game.

Barney Ronay of the Guardian said on BBC Radio 5Live this morning that the press box at Celtic Park was close to a stand of Scotland fans, who appeared to him to be mostly bewildered by the chanting, uncertain as to the purpose behind it.

Says it all really, doesn’t it?


Argentina 0-1 Portugal

Were you hoping that last night’s clash between the top two players in the world might offer some definitive proof of who’s better?

It didn’t. It won’t. Ever. But we can be sure of one thing. Neither will be emulating the acting success of Eric Cantona once retired from the game.


Spain 0-1 Germany

Real Madrid midfielder Toni Kroos broke Spain’s record of 34 games unbeaten at home with this 89th minute effort. Spain also had less possession than the opposition for the first time in six years.

Further proof (if it were needed) that Pep Guardiola has a worryingly effective influence on world football.


Slovenia 0-1 Colombia

With the defensive awareness of a FIFA 15 side set to ‘Amateur’, Slovenia conceded this goal to Colombia.

Alright, the best players in the world have struggled to contain the precocious nightmare that is James Rodriguez, but turning your back on him?


We’re with Perry on this one.


By Kelly Welles

England, Portugal, Germany, Spain, Argentina, Colombia, Scotland, Slovenia

They say nature abhors a vacuum and with Dapper Laughs being manually forced back into the grubby hole (fnar) from whence he came, we should have expected this.

Set the Attention Seeking Bell End artillery to ‘Obliterate’, please. And call Mario. He’s going to want to be in on this.


By Kelly Welles


H/T @Adam_M_Ali, Bleacher Report.


Mario Balotelli

There aren’t too many opportunities in life to celebrate the outlandish geekery we Ramblers revel in.

Indeed, far from impressing those around us, the ability to reel off the backline for our team’s horrific capitulation to lower league giant killers back in 1993’s FA Cup third round frequently identifies us as a target for people who spend their time engaged in more ‘worthy’ pursuits. Like shopping.


Occasionally though, a kindly sportswear manufacturer takes pity on our ilk and offers a reward for our diligence and commitment. (In short, pay attention to the next bit. There’s something in it for you.)


To celebrate their 90th year in (and around) football, Umbro have created this video, which celebrates the teams who ply their trade in the double diamonds. There are 49 teams represented and all you have to do is identify them, email .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) with the list and the five peeps who get closest get to pick a shirt from Umbro’s worldwide collection.

The added bonus being that your family will be so annoyed by your insistence on wearing your new PetroJet FC top every day that they’ll probably refuse to let you travel with them to the out of town shopping centre.

Exactly how much more win is it possible to carry?


By Kelly Welles

Everton, Umbro, Hull City

Frank Leboeuf’s foray into acting inspired Marcus to ask the chaps “Who’s your favourite footballing actor?” in this week’s show.


As usual, you were disappointed with their choices (despite Jim’s quite staggering contribution of Fitz Hall in The Fifth Element) and immediately overwhelmed us with your own suggestions.


Our favourite so far is Spanish farce ‘Quién mató a Bambi?’ (Who Killed Bambi), submitted by @GameofThrowIns, because driving a car into a stadium containing Andres Iniesta who then approaches and is hit in the face with the car door is the most mystifying automotive related decision in filmmaking since Collymore was cast in Basic Instinct 2.

Lasts about as long, too.


By Kelly Welles

Basic Instinct 2, Stan Collymore

Page 2 of 13 |  < 1 2 3 4 >  Last ›

The Ramble club shop

Support The Ramble and visit the shop to buy a unique t-shirt or two. In men and women's sizes.

Football Ramble t-shirt Football Ramble t-shirt Football Ramble t-shirt Football Ramble t-shirt Football Ramble t-shirt Football Ramble t-shirt